Choosing the Right Divorce Mediator: Questions to Ask
Finding the right divorce mediator is one of the most important decisions you’ll make during your separation or divorce. In Colorado, mediation is often encouraged over litigation. Choosing a mediator who aligns with your emotional needs and communication style can make all the difference.
At Open Space Mediation, we combine divorce mediation with transformational conflict coaching to create a space for clarity, calm, and confident decision-making. Whether you’re managing a peaceful separation or navigating a high-conflict dynamic, this guide will help you ask the right questions to find a mediator who fits your journey.
Why Choosing the Right Mediator Matters
Mediation isn’t just about paperwork or staying out of court—it’s about emotional safety, communication, and resolution. The right mediator helps both people feel heard and supported, especially during vulnerable moments. Choosing someone with the right training, temperament, and coaching skills helps you avoid unnecessary conflict and focus on real solutions.
Questions to Ask Before Hiring a Mediator
This practical checklist will guide your conversation with a potential mediator and help you determine if their style and services fit your situation. Most importantly, it ensures you choose someone who will support you through one of the most emotionally complex transitions of your life.
What Training or Credentials Do You Have?
Not all mediators are trained equally. Some may have legal backgrounds, while others, like Liz at Open Space Mediation, come from conflict resolution, coaching, and emotional support fields.
Ask about:
- Specific training in mediation or coaching
- Certifications or specializations (especially in high-conflict situations)
- Years of hands-on experience with divorcing couples
Learn more about Liz’s background on our About Liz page.
Do You Specialize in High-Conflict Divorces?
If your separation involves blaming, avoidance, or extreme emotional reactions, you need someone trained in high-conflict divorce. These cases require specific tools to support emotional regulation and create healthy boundaries.
Ask:
- How do you work with people who struggle to stay regulated?
- What happens if emotions escalate during sessions?
- Do you offer support for people divorcing someone with narcissistic tendencies?
Open Space Mediation specializes in this work—both in coaching and in creating structure that keeps things on track.
What Is Your Conflict Coaching Style?
Conflict coaching is not the same as legal advice. It’s about guiding you through emotional and communication roadblocks so that solutions can emerge.
Ask:
- What frameworks or techniques do you use in coaching?
- How do you help both people stay on task and emotionally steady?
- Do you offer 1:1 coaching if we need extra support?
We focus on helping each person feel grounded and supported—even when things get difficult.
Are You Comfortable with Complex Emotional Situations?
Divorce often brings grief, fear, guilt, and frustration. A mediator who’s emotionally attuned can help you process those feelings without derailing the session.
Ask:
- How do you handle breakdowns or shutdowns?
- Can you manage strong personalities or uncooperative energy?
- What emotional tools do you bring to the table?
Liz’s transformational coaching background means emotional navigation is central—not an afterthought.
Do You Offer Flat-Fee or Hourly Pricing?
Clarity around pricing is essential. You don’t want to worry about escalating costs when you’re already in an emotionally expensive process.
Ask:
- Do you offer flat-fee packages?
- What’s included in the fee?
- Are there additional costs for paperwork or coaching?
We offer structured flat-fee plans starting at $1,500 so you always know what to expect.
Do You Offer Virtual Mediation?
Virtual mediation is ideal for many couples, especially those in different locations or situations where in-person meetings feel unsafe or overwhelming.
Ask:
- Do you host secure video sessions?
- Can we do joint and private sessions online?
- Are your tools and scheduling systems optimized for virtual?
We’ve designed our virtual mediation process to be just as personal and effective as in person.
Can I See Testimonials or Client Feedback?
Hearing from past clients gives insight into how a mediator handles conflict, supports healing, and communicates with care.
Ask:
- Where can I read testimonials or reviews?
- Do you have feedback from clients in high-conflict cases?
- Can I see examples of outcomes or success stories?
Read what others have shared on our Testimonials page.
How Do You Help People Move Forward?
A great mediator isn’t just trying to “wrap it up.” They want to help you feel complete, prepared, and empowered to move on.
Ask:
- Do you offer guidance for co-parenting or next steps?
- What if I need communication support after the agreement?
- Will I have access to resources or referrals?
We believe in helping people heal—not just split.
What to Look For in a Divorce Mediator
- Conflict coaching experience: Supports emotional regulation and reduces drama
- High-conflict mediation training: Helps with narcissistic, reactive, or volatile personalities
- Transparent pricing: Builds trust and avoids surprise costs
- Client-centered communication: Ensures everyone feels heard and safe
- Flexible session formats: Supports both virtual and in-person options
- Positive client testimonials: Shows proven results and client satisfaction
FAQs
Q: How do I know if a mediator is the right fit for my situation?
A: Trust your instincts. A good mediator will make you feel seen, respected, and supported. If their energy feels off or rushed, keep looking.
Q: What if I need more support before or after mediation sessions?
A: We offer 1:1 coaching to help you prepare emotionally, communicate effectively, and transition with confidence—even after sessions are complete.
Q: What if I feel unsafe or intimidated in a session?
A: We prioritize emotional safety. We can arrange separate sessions or structured formats where both people feel heard without tension taking over.
Q: How should I prepare for our first session?
A: Come with openness, curiosity, and any documents or goals you want to share. We’ll guide you through a gentle but clear intake process.
Q: Will we still need other help after mediation?
A: Possibly. We offer referrals to parenting specialists, CDFA professionals, and therapists if additional guidance is needed.
Q: Is it better to meet in person or virtually?
A: That depends on your emotional comfort and logistics. Many clients find virtual sessions more convenient and calming—especially in high-conflict dynamics.
Final Thoughts: Empower Your Divorce Journey with the Right Guide
Choosing the right mediator is about more than logistics—it’s about finding someone who understands your emotions, respects your goals, and helps you step into your next chapter with confidence.
At Open Space Mediation, we bring conflict coaching and mediation together to help you feel empowered, respected, and truly supported throughout your divorce.
Whether you’re navigating complex property, co-parenting decisions, or emotional detachment, we’ll guide you through it with clarity and compassion.
Ready to Talk?
Let’s find out if we’re the right fit for your situation. Book your free consultation to explore your needs, ask questions, and begin your peaceful divorce journey.
Contact Us
(970) 818-2209
☑ liz@openspacemediation.com