The Dos and Don’ts of Co-Parenting with a Narcissistic Ex

Jan 15, 2024 | Co-Parenting

If you work smart, nothing is impossible in life, no matter how things come up, even in co-parenting with a narcissist. For the sake of your children, handling life situations with a narcissistic ex-partner could be daunting and damaging to the mental and psychological health of individuals. 

Still, hopes rise with belief and taking essential steps with the help of experts can ease the process. What is left behind is a secure and safe future for your children. So, let’s have a look over the art of mastering co-parenting strategies with narcissistic ex-partners.

Recognizing a Narcissist: Exposing the Attributes

There is no need to learn mind-reading techniques when you can have direct access to recognize narcissistic behaviours in your partners. What is a narcissist known for? They show their grandiosity, self-importance and dominant sides, making them believe they are the only one in a million. Does it sound like a lack of gratitude and empathy to you? That's how a narcissist looks and acts in relationships.

Why don't you have a quick glimpse over other signs of narcissistic personality disorder? 

  • They are arrogant enough to cross the limits.
  • They have tricks to take advantage of partners.
  • They believe they are unique and one in a million.
  • They love to show their achievements and skills 24/7.
  • Their actions always disgrace their partners. 
  • They desire to be praised and granted all the time.
  • They are full of envy and believe people are jealous of them.
  • They never show kindness and empathy in relationships.
  • They obsess over brilliant fantasies of success and power.

Co-Parenting With A Narcissist? Read Out Some Mind-Boggling Tips!

Read Out Some Mind-Boggling For Co-Parenting With A Narcissist

Everything could be on point and in control with the best approach when dealing with co-parenting with a narcissist. Here are some tips to enhance your knowledge.

Documentation Is Crucial For Success

Crystal-clear documentation is essential as it makes everything streamlined and safe. 

Everything must be documented, ranging from expectations to the responsibilities to keep it as evidence. Coming up with a daily record journal to write down information, interactions, conversations, pick-up and drop-off times, and special meetings and events allows individuals to tackle co-parenting smoothly. 

Control Emotions To Narcissistic Behaviour

When dealing with co-parenting sessions with a narcissist, controlling emotions and thoughts around the narcissist's ex-partner is paramount. Do not panic and stay calm as the quotes taught us: "Train your mind to keep calm in hard situations." Surprisingly, it's true to not sit on the roller coaster of your emotions. It keeps your emotional wellness. Talk only in 'matter of fact' terms to avoid expressing private and personal information.

It’s Good To Have A Good Parenting Plan

Parenting plans help you and the other parent understand expectations for spending time with your children. Think of it as a business deal to make co-parenting smoother. Talk about after-school activities, holidays, discipline, communication, and how often you'll check-in. Once you have a plan, get it signed and stick to it like glue.

Defend Your Children Against Conflict

Never let your children face the traumas of parenting conflicts. Children are sensitive, and rude behaviours, harsh tone of voice, bad words, and endless arguments with a narcissistic co-parent can affect the children's mental health. Do all that kind of stuff in the absence of your children to keep them away from long-term suffering.

Put Yourself First With Mental And Physical Health

Health is wealth, whether mental or physical, so never play with it. Co-parenting with a narcissist is like climbing Mount Everest, so always try to prioritize your health, too. You can also have a mediator or a therapist to keep your mental health in check. Make sure to get enough rest to keep your mind and body fresh. You can have a good conversation with your narcissist ex-partner with good mental health

What Not To Do When Co-Parenting With a Narcissist

While you are co-parenting with the narcissist ex-partners, it is kind of tricky, so try to play smart and avoid some steps. Implementing these steps can keep you from the worst scenarios and magnify your chances of winning the case.

When Co-Parenting With a Narcissist

Don't Be Afraid or Give Up

When it comes to your kids' future, don't hesitate to make a rock-solid decision. Flex those parenting skills, stick to your ground rules, and secure what your children deserve. It's the perfect way to shake off your narcissistic partner's dominance without losing your mind or freedom. Take charge, stay sharp, and keep them from playing out the situation. Keep it smooth! 

Avoid The Desire to Control Everything

Refrain from flexing your genius by trying to control everything. Stay curious about the important stuff. Prioritize your children's needs and avoid going full-on control freak. Keep them safe and mentally healthy without driving yourself crazy. Remember, focus on what you can actually control, not the useless stuff. 

Don't Drag Your Children In Between

Children are like empty paper; whatever you draw will stick forever in their minds. Do not try to use your children as a pawn to pass any information, backbiting, or hurt your narcissist ex-partners. You have to remember that no matter what you do, your child is the one who will suffer the consequences. So, instead of hurting your ex, putting all your energy into protecting and loving your children will be better. 

Don't Be Emotionally Needy

Emotions are good when they are in control, especially in relationships. Don't be emotionally needy. It might make your kids feel guilty and seek solace elsewhere. Plus, it can play into the hands of your narcissistic ex-partner and jeopardize your parental rights. So, keep your emotions in check until you and your children get the fair treatment they deserve.

Don't Burden Your Child Unnecessarily

Never ever burden your children with your emotions and thoughts of hate. Don't even try to mess with their relationship with your ex-partners, even if they're narcissists. It'll help your kids stay away from the conflicts between you and your narcissistic ex. Putting that weight on your children can leave you feeling helpless and insecure, as you have no clue whose side they'll take.

Therapy Therapy Therapy

Therapy can provide support and guidance during your co-parenting journey. If you’re feeling resentful, overwhelmed, depressed, or hopeless, you can have Open Space Mediation as a trained and qualified mediator. With experience in facilitating family and divorce counseling, Open Space Mediation will provide a safe space to help you explore your emotions, understand the needs of all parties, and come up with solutions that benefit everyone. Contact them today if you would like more information about our services! Let Therapy Therapy

 

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