January has a way of bringing clarity. For many people, it’s the moment when a quiet realization becomes harder to ignore: something needs to change.
If you’re thinking about divorce, how you begin matters. Filing without preparation often leads to unnecessary conflict, higher costs, and decisions driven by fear instead of facts. A calmer start almost always leads to a better outcome.
Here’s what to focus on before you file.
1. Gather information before emotions escalate
Before you announce anything, take time to quietly get organized. This isn’t about being sneaky, it’s about being prepared.
Start gathering:
- Recent bank and credit card statements.
- Retirement and investment account statements.
- Mortgage information, deeds, and titles.
- Tax returns (last 2–3 years.)
- Household bills and monthly expenses.
Having accurate information gives you leverage in the healthy sense: clarity, confidence, and control.er?”
👉 JDF 1104 – mandatory disclosures
2. Understand timelines and expectations
One of the biggest mistakes people make is assuming divorce happens quickly or cleanly once you file. In reality:
- Filing starts a legal process, not an immediate resolution.
- Most decisions unfold over months.
- Early panic often creates long-term problems.
January doesn’t require urgency; it requires intention.
3. Think about support (not just legal)
Divorce isn’t just a legal process; it’s emotional, logistical, and financial. The most grounded clients build a small, qualified support team early.
That often includes:
- A divorce coach, to help you plan, communicate, and regulate emotions.
- A mediator, to keep the process fair and efficient.
- A CDFA (Certified Divorce Financial Analyst), to understand the long-term financial impact.
- Divorce-informed real estate and mortgage professionals, when housing is involved.
At Open Space Mediation, our packages include access to a vetted team of divorce-specific professionals who understand both the numbers and the emotional terrain. 👉 You can meet them here.
4. If you’re think about a divorce and your spouse doesn’t want it
This is one of the hardest moments in the entire process and one of the most common.
If you’re worried about how to initiate the conversation, a divorce coach can help you think through timing, language, boundaries, and safety. Coaching is especially helpful when:
- You expect emotional pushback.
- You’re afraid of escalation.
- You want to communicate clearly without provoking conflict.
👉 Learn more about divorce coaching here.
5. Know your numbers early
Uncertainty around money fuels fear. To reduce that, we created Colorado’s first Divorce Cost Calculator, designed to help you understand what divorce actually costs in mediation versus litigation.
6. Safety matters more than strategy when thinking about divorce
If you’re thinking about divorce and planning to leave and have any concerns about your safety, planning comes first. Please don’t skip this step.
👉 We offer a free, practical safety planning resource here.
This is about protection, not overreaction.
Final Thoughts
Divorce doesn’t reward speed; it rewards preparation.
January is a chance to move forward with clarity, structure, and support rather than fear and guesswork.
Next Step
👉 Try the Divorce Cost Calculator
👉 Download How to Tell My Spouse I Want a Divorce